Why Your Brain is a Hot Mess (and How to Begin Taming the Chaos)

Does your brain like to host a chaotic little conference that you didn’t RSVP for?

Yeah, me too.

Your inner world is not a single, calm, rational entity—but a whole ecosystem of mini sub-personalities, or “parts,” all clamoring for attention. Some are helpful, some are scared, some bully or annoy the shit out of you. And when they all show up at once, it’s no wonder your mind and body feel either messy, loud, and full of static or lethargic, unmotivated, and stuck.

Hi, I’m Sara Waters. I’m a licensed psychotherapist with 15 years of experience specializing in personal and professional development, relationships, trauma reprocessing, and performance psychology. I’ve worked in corporate environments, owned my own businesses, and now, as a coach, speaker, and workshop facilitator, I help people navigate life with more clarity, confidence, and general badassery. 

Here’s the thing: you’re not just one person. You’re a system of many. Each part has a role and a voice. Some parts protect you, some push you to grow, some express creativity, some help you rest, and some carry old painful wounds and fears. When you understand these parts, you can start working with them instead of against yourself. The end result is a calm nervous system with an optimized ability to function and thrive in the world.

Picture this: it’s Monday morning, and you have a big presentation. One part says, “You’ve totally got this!” Another shouts, “I don’t want to do this, let’s just stay in bed.” Meanwhile, that sneaky inner critic is whispering, “You’re about to crash and burn.” Sound familiar? That’s your system of parts. It’s not broken—it’s just full of noise and static. Most of us just try to ignore the inner chaos, argue with ourselves, or shove it down, which rarely works.

Here’s a quick way to start noticing your parts: next time your brain is loud or conflicted, pause and identify the voices. Name them if you want—the “Worrier,” the “Perfectionist,” the “Creative Spark,” or the “Lazy Couch Potato.” One of my coaching clients even named his over-thinking part, “Larry”. Giving them a name helps us to externalize them a bit which, in turn, gives us a better vantage point so that we can observe them. Notice them. Don’t judge them and don’t fight them. It may not make sense now, but you’ll soon come to find the they each have a story to tell. The have a purpose and are trying to help you. They can also very much bite you in the ass when they freak out and take over. Mindfully witnessing the various parts that contribute to your internal chaos is the first step toward working with your parts, instead of being hijacked by them. 

Why does this matter personally and professionally? Your inner system drives how you communicate, make decisions, react to stressful situations, and relate to others. When you understand the voices and intensions of the parts inside you, you respond to situations, people, and things that trigger you with such better clarity, confidence, compassion and calm. You notice patterns that used to baffle you (“Why do I have such a hard time saying no?”) and start making choices that actually serve you. The stuckness you sometimes feel no longer freezes you in place, unable to move forward. Your creativity comes back to life. Your courage comes back online. Life becomes…well, a lot less exhausting and much more full of joy, connection, and innovation.

If this sparks your curiosity, check out the chapter titled Multiplicity of Personality in my book More YourSELF – Question What You Think You Know to Realize Who You Are. It’s written to help you explore your own system and apply parts-based thinking in your everyday life. Grab a copy on Amazon or Barnes & Noble.

Identifying your inner parts is just the beginning! Wait until you begin to ask these parts why they do those jobs for you, or at what point in life they kicked into action. We’re going to open all kinds of wonderful worm cans. And because I know some of you are thinking, “This is fascinating, but I could use help actually doing it,” here’s the real talk: I’m currently accepting new coaching clients. Working with a coach helps you understand your inner system faster, communicate better with yourself and others, and create actionable change in your personal and professional life. My approach is grounded in empirical research, decades of studying psychology, and tons of experience as a clinical psychotherapist —but it’s practical, relatable, and yes, a little bold.

So here’s my challenge: stop fighting your inner chaos. Lean in and invite it to the table. Get curious. Your system may be messy, loud, and dramatic—but it’s brilliant, protective, and endlessly fascinating. And so are you.

Welcome to my new blog. I’m thrilled you’re here, and I can’t wait to explore the inner world with you.

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***Visit the Contact page on my website to inquire about my coaching, speaking, or workshop facilitation services.